Corvette Purity Test

Are you a true, red-white-and-blue Corvette enthusiast? If so, it's .....

======================================================

The Unofficial, Unsanctioned Corvette Purity Test(tm).

======================================================

Version 0.90 (beta)

All questions are asked in the context of a street Corvette driven on public highways, unless otherwise noted.

Scoring: The number in parenthesis after each question is the number of points you must add to your cumulative total if your answer to the particular question is "yes". Some questions have special instructions.

On the multiple choice questions, points are as follows:

[a] -1 point

[b] +2 points

[c] +4 points

[d] +7 points

[e] +10 points

When you are done, add your points up and divide by 39.6

This will give you your "purity percentage".

Enjoy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

General

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you know what a Corvette is? (-1)

Have you ever seen a picture of a Corvette? (-1)

Have you ever seen a Corvette in person? (-1)

Have you ever heard a Corvette? (-1)

Have you ever touched a Corvette? (-1)

Have you ever sat on a Corvette? (-1)

Have you ever sat in a Corvette? (-1)

Do you have a cutaway drawing of a Corvette? (+1)

Ever driven a Corvette? (-1)

Can you spell Corvette? (-1)

Do you know what a Corvette is named for? (-1)

Do you own a Corvette? (-1)

Do you own two or more Corvettes? (+1)

Do you own a non-running Corvette? (+1)

Do you own Corvette toys? (+1)

Do you own Corvette models? (+1)

Do you own Corvette models that cost more than $100? (+2)

Do you have a Corvette go-kart? (+1)

Do you not let your kids drive it? (+2)

Can you name the displacement of every engine ever sold in a Corvette? (+1)

Can you quote the bore of every engine ever sold in a Corvette? (+2)

Can you quote the valve specifications of every engine ever sold in a Corvette? (+7)

Can you describe the differences between Corvette generations? (+1)

Describe the Corvette show cars. (+2 for each)

Can you describe the differences between 1953 and 1954 Vettes? (+2)

Do you know who built the ZR1 engines? (+1)

Do you know who designed the ZR1 engines? (+1)

Do you own a Corvette with crash damage? (+1)

Have you ever washed your Corvette? (-1)

Have you ever washed your Corvette at a high-pressure car wash? (+3)

Have you ever washed your Corvette with a toothbrush? (+1)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Driving Skills

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever taken a race car driver course? (-2)

Did you crash while taking the race car driver course? (+2)

Have you totalled a Corvette while taking a race car driver course? (+10)

Have you ever repeated a race car driver course? (+1)

Have you ever forgotten to check your gas gauge and had the engine die in the middle on an intersection? (+2)

Have you ever had clothes caught in the door while driving? (+2 each time)

Have you ever gotten out of your Vette and walked away without shutting the door? (+2)

Have you ever gotten off in your Vette without shutting the door? (+6)

Have you ever left the keys in the door lock while parked in a public area? (+6)

Have you ever filled your Corvette's gas tank while sitting on the Vette? (+1)

Were you able to do this without spilling gas all over the Vette and yourself? (-1)

Have you ever dropped a lit cigarette while attempting this maneuver? (+2)

Ever put the wrong gas in a Corvette? (+1)

Have you ever put diesel fuel in a Corvette? (+2)

Have you ever driven with more than 3 people in a Corvette? (+2)

More than 4? (+3)

Have you ever crashed a Vette because your pant leg was caught on something? (+2)

Have you ever crashed a Vette while trying to remove your pants? (+2)

While trying to remove someone elses pants? (+4)

In another Vette? (+6)

Have you ever crashed a Vette before the first scheduled service? (+3)

Have you ever crashed a Vette because of a wet railroad track? (+2)

Have you ever crashed your Vette in your driveway? (+2)

Did you ding your Vette the first time you drove it down your driveway? (+3)

Have you ever jump started your Vette? (-1)

Have you ever tried to push start your Vette while it was in gear? (+2)

Have you ever crashed a Vette because you tried to push start it in gear? (+3)

Have you done this maneuver more than once? (+3)

Have you ever push started a Vette? (+1)

Have you ever had to push the Vette for more than 50 yards while attempting to start it? (+1)

Have you ever had someone push your Vette while you were driving it in an attempt to start it? (+1)

Did you make them run more than 50 yards before attempting to start the engine? (+3)

Do you regularily have to push start your Vette? (+2)

Have you ever jump started your Vette from a motorcycle? (+2)

Have you ever rolled back into someone at an onramp stoplight? (+3)

Have you ever lost control of a Corvette while attempting to put it up on jackstands? (+1)

Have you ever attempted to put a Vette on ramps without providing enough space behind the Vette so that you end up smashing the taillight into an immovable hard object (like a brick wall or lamp post)? (+3)

Have you ever dropped a Vette because you tried to put the Vette on jackstands without turning off the Vette? (+3)

Have you ever crashed it at low speed because you were holding the broken throttle cable in your hand? (+3)

Ever rolled it off a jackstand or ramp because you didn't quite understand what Positraction (tm) does? (+3)

Do you store your Corvette on a city street? (+3)

Do you store your Corvette in a locked garage? (-1)

Do you store your Corvette in your living room? (+2)

Do you store your Corvette in your bedroom? (+3)

Is your Corvette your bedroom? (+5)

Have you ever closed your garage door on your Corvette? (+2)

Have you ever dinged a Vette in a crowded parking lot? (+1)

Have you ever started a chain reaction by crashing your Vette onto a line of parked Vettes? (+3)

Did you receive applause for this? (+1)

Were you admitted to the emergency room because of this? (-1)

Have you ever parked a Corvette so as to take up more than one space? (+1)

Have you ever parked a Corvette so as to take up more than two spaces? (+1)

Have you ever parked a Corvette so as to take up more than three spaces? (+1)

Have you ever parked a Corvette so as to take up more than four spaces? (+2)

Have you ever parked a Corvette trailer and tow car so as to take up more than two spaces? (+1)

Add one for every space beyond three taken up by a trailering rig for a Corvette. (+1)

Have you ever dropped your helmet? (+1)

Have you dropped your helmet more than once at a race? (+1)

More than 3 times? (+1)

Were you concerned? (-1)

Have you ever kicked your helmet? (+2)

Have you ever loaded your Corvette onto a trailer? (+1)

Does your Corvette spend more time on a trailer than on the road? (+2)

Do you require that a trailer rig follow you on all drives? (+2)

Does your insurance company require that a towtruck follow you on all drives? (+3)

Have you ever used a loading ramp to get your Vette onto a flatbed? (-1)

Did you rather just pick up the pieces and heave the large chunks into the flatbed? (+2)

Did the ramp consist of two 4x4s? (+4)

Have you ever driven the Vette up the loading ramp? (+3)

Have you ever crashed into the back of the flatbed cab? (+4)

Was the event seen on national broadcast television? (+2)

Has the Vette ever fallen off the ramp? (+2)

Were you in the Vette at the time? (+3)

Have you ever had a Corvette fall off of a flatbed? (+2)

Have you ever had a Corvette fall off a trailer? (+2)

Have you ever had a Corvette totalled by a train while on a car transporter hung up at a railroad crossing? (+2)

More than 15 minutes after contacting authorities? (+5)

Have you ever loaded your Corvette into a car? (+3)

In one piece? (+3)

Do you warm up your engine in the morning by holding it at redline? (+4)

Have you ever used fuel with an octane rating higher than 100? (+2)

Have you ever used octane booster? (+2)

Do you regularily use octane booster? (+2)

Have you ever used racing fuel? (+4)

Have you ever used nitromethane? (+6)

Have you ever used nitrous? (+2)

For the car? (+3)

Have you ever run out of gas? (+1)

Have you run out of gas twice in one day? (+3)

Have you run out of gas more than 2 times in two days? (+3)

Have you ever thought you'd have enough gas to get there, and run out? (+2)

Do you go driving with a friend only because you know they have a thirty gallon tank? (+2)

Have you ever had to bum gas off a driving buddy? (+1)

Have you ever had to do so more than once in one day? (+2)

Has your driving buddy ever run out of gas because he/she kept having to give you gas? (+4)

Have you ever run out of gas more than 30 miles from the nearest station? (+1)

More than 60 miles? (+2)

More than 100 miles? (+4)

Have you ever ignored a road sign which said "NEXT SERVICES 179 MILES" when you knew you only had a range of 130 miles on a full tank? (+7)

Have you ever had the engine sputter, only to discover that you had forgotten to change the fuel filter at the last tune-up? (+2)

Have you ever had the engine sputter, only to discover that you had forgotten to change the fuel filter hidden inside the carburetor? (+2)

Do you keep track of your gas mileage as a matter of routine? (-1)

Have you ever used the mileage log to help spot engine problems before they become expensive? (-3)

Do you keep an accurate service log? (-3)

Do you need to add engine oil more often than gas? (+3)

Do you change Mobil1 every 3 months or 3000 miles? (+4)

Do you put additives in your radiator fluid to make it run cooler? (+1)

Have you ever had to go off the road in order to avoid an accident? (+5)

Have you ever had an off-road accident on a street Corvette? (+4)

Have you ever dinged your Vette in the presence of 2 other people? (+2)

Have you ever dinged your Vette in the presence of more than 5 other people? (+3)

Have you ever driven a Corvette stoned? (+10)

Have you ever driven a Corvette drunk? (+10)

Have you ever driven a Corvette while you were very angry? (+6)

Have you ever driven a Corvette while you were extremely tired? (+6)

Have you ever driven a Corvette after dark without headlights? (+4)

Have you ever been caught after sunset without headlights? (+4)

Have you ever driven over 500 miles in one day? (+1)

Have you ever driven over 1000 miles in one day? (+3)

Have you ever burnt your leg on an exhaust pipe? (+1)

What about your hand? (+1)

Have you done either more than once? (+5)

Have you ever sat on your hands to keep them warm? (+2)

Have you ever placed your hands on your Corvette's engine to keep them warm? (+2)

Have you ever patched a tire with duct tape? (+6)

Have you ever patched an oil leak with duct tape? (+4)

Have you ever patched an oil leak with locally available materials like mud, sticks, and moss? (+4)

Have you ever replaced your springs with Garbage Truck springs to make it handle better against European race cars? (+9)

Have you ever forgotten to turn off your turn signal? (+1)

Have you ever had a driving buddy chase you down to alert you to this problem? (+1)

Have you ever had a driving buddy chase you down and turn off your signal for you? (+3)

Have you ever forgotten to put the Vette into 1st from neutral at a stoplight? (+1)

Ever get odd looks from people when your Vette hits 7,000rpm in neutral at a light? (+2)

Have you ever tried to start from a stoplight in any gear other than 1st? (+1)

Have you ever missed second gear, gotten stuck in neutral, and over revved your engine in the middle of an intersection? (+2)

Have you ever driven over the speed limit? (+1)

What about double the speed limit? (+3)

Have you ever driven double the speed limit through a curve or corner? (+4)

Have you ever driven triple the posted speed through a curve? (+6)

Have you ever driven quadruple the posted speed through a curve? (+8)

Have you ever gotten air off of a speed bump? (+3)

Were you driving a straight-axle at the time? (+5)

Have you ever driven off a curb? (+1)

Have you ever bounced off a curb? (+2)

Have you ever driven up a curb? (+1)

Have you ever driven up a curb at more than 15 mph? (+2)

Have you ever driven up a curb at more than 30 mph? (+3)

Have you ever driven the wrong way on a one-way street? (+2)

Have you ever driven the wrong way on a one-way street over the national speed limit? (+5)

Have you ever driven the wrong way on a one-way street while franticly waving your arms? (+3)

Have you ever dodged oncoming traffic while driving the wrong way on a one-way street? (+3)

Have you ever used Armor-All on your seat? (+1)

Have you ever used Armor-All on your seat a second time? (+4)

Have you ever considered buying a neon undercarriage light? (+3)

Have you ever actually bought a neon undercarriage light? (+5)

Have you ever totalled (i.e beyond repair) your Vette? (+5)

Have you ever totalled a friend's Vette? (+10)

Have you ever totalled a stranger's Vette? (+10)

While driving it? (+8)

Are you held together with steel pins as a result of your driving experience? (+2)

Do you brake for llamas? (+3)

Have you ever tried to drive off without remembering to remove the lock from a steering wheel? (+2)

Did you do this at a Corvette swap meet in front of hundreds of people? (+4)

Did it cause you to ding your Vette? (+1)

Have you ever tried to open the door without remembering to turn off the alarm? (+3)

Have you ever carried skis on your Corvette? (+1)

Have you ever carried an item on your Corvette that required a red flag at the end? (+2)

Have you ever carried a 4'x8' sheet of plywood on your Corvette? (+3)

At more than 5 mph? (+4)

Have you ever tried to drive the wrong direction over a one-way spike barrier in a parking lot? (+2)

Have you ever done a cross-country trip in a Corvette with no top? (+2)

Have you ever done a cross-country drive in less than 3 days? (+3)

Have you ever participated in a rally? (+2)

Have you ever won a rally? (+2)

Have you ever seized up a Vette because you just dumped the oil into the gas? (+2)

Have you ever rebuilt a Vette in your college dorm room? (+3)

Did you get the oil stains out of the carpet? (-1)

Were you able to keep the custodians from knowing anything about it? (+1)

Have you ever wired up a parking light bulb in the headlight because the generator/alternator doesn't work? (+3)

Does your Corvette's license plate read either "DENIZEN" or "DOOM"? (+2)

Do you have a license plate frame that references Corvettes? (+1)

Do you have a license plate frame that references particular Corvettes? (+2)

Does your Corvette have an Olympic license plate? (+3)

Does your Corvette have an Antique license plate? (+3)

Does your Corvette have an Antique license plate that doesn't match its year? (+3)

Does your Corvette have a Horseless Carriage license plate? (+3)

Has your Corvette's license plate been published in a magazine? (+5)

Have you ever been frightened by a maniac pointing a high powered rifle at you so you swerved violently, only to see it was an officer with a radar gun? <+5>

Have you driven with a broken clutch cable? (+2)

Have you chosen to carry an extra cable after that? (-1)

Ever have to have a warranty repair done over? (+1)

Have you ever cooled your "after drive beer" by burying it, pouring gas on it and lighting it? (+2)

Have you ever taken a picture of a Corvette? (+1)

Are the walls of your house/apartment/room/garage covered with pictures of Corvettes? (+1)

Have you ever collected Corvette sales brouchures solely to hang them on your walls? (+2)

Have you ever had a muffler fall off? (+1)

Have you ever had a muffler fall off and not notice it? (+2)

How many public/occupied buildings have you driven into? (Houses don't count as public, taverns and schools do) (2 points per bldg up to 12 pts.)

Intentionally? (+3)

Were any of the occupants were expecting you to do this at the time? (-1)

Have you ever driven up a flight of stairs on a street Vette? (+2)

How many continuous flights? (1 point per flight up to 10 pts)

Did the stairs have a 180 degree turn in them? (+1)

Have you ever gotten your Corvette stuck in a stairwell? (+1)

Is it still there? (+1)

Have you ever driven into a freight elevator? (+1)

Have you ever driven into a passenger elevator? (+2)

Have you ever driven into a passenger elevator at a posh hotel? (+2)

Have you ever driven through a window? (+2)

Was it open before you went through it? (-1)

Have you ever worn tires right to the edge of the tread? (+1)

Have you ever worn tires past the edge of the tread? (+2)

Have you ever had the rubber on the edges of your tires ball up (from driving on public highways)? (+3)

Have you ever had your tires get greasy? (+2)

Have you ever blistered a set of tires? (+3)

Have you ever blistered a set of Goodyear S tires? (+5)

Have you ever bedded in your brake pads taking the Vette up to the national speed limit and dropping anchor hard? (+4)

Have you ever locked up a wheel? (+2)

Did it leave a skid mark over 10 feet long? (+2)

20 feet? (+1)

30 feet? (+1)

50 feet? (+2)

Have you ever locked up four wheels simultaneously? (+2)

Did the skid marks remain parallel? (-1)

Have you ever locked up four wheels simultaneously on a Corvette weighing under 2600 pounds? (+2)

Have you ever had the rear wheel hop under heavy braking? (+1)

Have you ever locked a wheel intentionally? (+2)

Have you ever locked four wheels intentionally? (+3)

If you drive a Vette with a t-top or targa top, have you ever forgot to lock it down and lost it? (+4)

Have you lost a hardtop off a roadster? (+3)

Do you have it on videotape? (+7)

Lost a top off a luggage rack? (+2)

Have you ever skidded a Corvette into a curb? (+4)

Have you rolled a Vette (not on a track)? (+3)

Have you ever rolled a Corvette on a track? (+4)

In front of thousands of spectators? (+5)

Have you ever endoed a street Vette? (+4)

Ever burn yourself on a hot exhaust manifold? (+1)

Got beach sandal tangled in the pedals? (+4)

Have you ever attained the national speed limit on public highway? (+1)

Have you ever failed to attain the national speed limit? (+1)

Have you ever been over 125 mph on a public highway? (+3)

Have you ever been over 140 mph on a public highway? (+5)

Have you ever been over 150 mph on a public highway? (+5)

Have you ever been over 160 mph on a public highway? (+5)

Have you ever been over 170 mph on a public highway? (+5)

Have you ever been over 180 mph on a public highway? (+5)

Have you ever attempted to find the top speed of your Vette on a public highway? (+5)

Have you ever _found_ the top speed of your Vette on a public highway? (+5)

Have you ever run your Vette's engine past the redline momentarily? (+1)

Was it because you missed a shift? (+1)

Was it intentional? (+2)

Have you ever run your Vette's engine past the redline and kept it there? (+4)

Have you ever found a false neutral? (+1)

Have you ever had a Vette pop out of gear during hard acceleration? (+1)

Have you ever blown a turbo on a Vette? (+2)

Have you ever had a knockoff knocked off? (+3)

Have you ever dragged a muffler? (+4)

Have you ever dented a muffler going around a curve? (+4)

Have you ever embedded a muffler in the road? (+4)

Have you ever scraped a diaplane? (+1)

Do you scrape a diaplane every day? (+5)

Have you ever dragged a Porsche before your Vettes tires warmed up? (+3)

Have you ever raced a Porsche with a Corvette with bald tires? (+3)

Have you ever slid your rear tires while cornering? (+2)

Have you ever slid your front tires while cornering? (+3)

Have you ever slid all four tires simultaneously while cornering? (+4)

Do you generally drive around corners in four-wheel drifts? (+5)

With full opposite lock? (+5)

Have you ever done a burn-out? (+3)

Have you ever done a burn-out with a new tire? (+5)

Do you use burn-outs as a regular method for scrubbing in new tires? (+5)

Have you ever done a burn-out until the tire popped? (+5)

Have you ever won a burn-out competition? (+5)

Have you ever done a burn-out while accelerating? (+5)

Did it leave a mark over 5 feet long? (+2)

Over 10 feet long? (+2)

Over 20 feet long? (+2)

Over 50 feet long? (+2)

Have you ever done a burn-out donut? (+5)

Do you have pictures? (+2)

Do you have them framed? (+3)

Have you ever done a burn-out at the end of a straight? (+5)

Have you ever attempted a wheelie? (+2)

Have you ever attempted a wheelie while cornering? (+4)

Have you ever attempted a stoppie? (+2)

Have you ever attempted a stoppie on a drum brake Vette? (+3)

Have you ever crashed your Vette trying either? (+2)

Have you ever maintained a wheelie for over 30 feet? (+3)

Have you ever upshifted while maintaining a wheelie? (+2)

Have you ever downshifted while maintaining a wheelie? (+3)

Have you ever missed a shift while maintaining a wheelie? (+3)

Have you ever hit the rev limit while maintaining a wheelie? (+4)

Have you ever ground shut a tailpipe while doing a wheelie? (+4)

Have you ever done a wheelie while driving with a passenger? (+4)

Have you ever done a wheelie in a school parking lot? (+4)

Have you ever done a wheelie in a school parking lot in front of the school narc? (+4)

Did others witness it? (+2)

Do others have it on video tape? (+3)

Have you ever done a stoppie that resulted in the Vette going over on its back? (+4)

Have you ever done a U-turn on a freeway on-ramp? (+2)

Have you ever crashed your Vette doing a U-turn on a freeway on-ramp? (+3)

Have you ever stood on the seat of a moving Corvette? (+2)

Have you ever stood on the roll-bar of a moving Corvette? (+3)

Have you ever stood on the hood of a moving Corvette? (+5)

Have you ever driven with your hands off the wheel? (+1)

Have you ever stood on the seat of your moving Corvette on public highway/street and waved at passing vehicles? (+3)

Have you ever stood on the seat of a moving Corvette and beat on your chest? (+3)

Did you think this would impress members of the opposite sex? (+2)

Have you ever driven your Corvette on a public street while steering with your feet? (+3)

Have you ever operated a Corvette while sitting backward on the seat? (+4)

Have you ever operated a Corvette without doors? (+2)

Have you ever operated a Corvette while you had your feet up on the dash? (+3)

Have you ever operated a Corvette without seatbelts? (+2)

Have you ever dragged your boots on the pavement to see just how slippery the ice you're driving on is? (+3)

Ever try to put the top up or replace t-tops while stopped at a light? (+1)

Ever get caught by the green before finishing? (+2)

Have you ever pushed your sidepipe cover into contact with the road so that it would generate sparks? (+3)

Have you ever plumbed fuel injectors into a Vettes exhaust headers to create an impressive show? (+4)

Have you ever tried to smash road debris while moving at more than 30 mph? (+3)

Were you successful? (+2)

Is the debris still attached to your Vette? (-1)

Have you ever picked up traffic cones on the fly and set them in the middle of some random intersection? (+3)

Have you ever driven sidesaddle? (+3)

Have you ever shifted an automatic by hand? (+2)

Have you ever run over a chipmunk? (-1)

Were you aiming? (+1)

Did you have to chase the chipmunk off-road to do it? (+4)

Have you ever bagged a deer with your Corvette? (+2)

Did you have your deer tag ready? (+2)

Have you ever chased a bear while in your Corvette? (+3)

Have you ever been chased by a bear while in your Corvette? (+1)

Have you ever changed a tape in your stereo cassette player while driving? (+1)

Have you ever had the wind catch the tape and stream it out behind you? (+2)

Have you ever eaten food while driving? (+2)

Have you ever eaten a salad while driving? (+3)

Have you ever read a newspaper while driving? (+3)

Have you ever blown your nose while wearing a full-face helmet? (+1)

Successfully? (-1)

Have you ever attempted to smoke while driving? (+1)

Have you ever attempted to smoke while wearing a full-face helmet? (+2)

Did you burn yourself in an attempt to smoke while driving? (+1)

Ever watched members of the opposite sex and almost crash? (+3)

Have you ever relieved yourself while driving a Corvette? (+3)

Have you ever driven a street Vette on a gravel road? (+1)

Have you ever driven a street Vette on a gravel road at more than 35 mph? (+2)

At more than 45 mph? (+3)

At more than 60 mph? (+4)

Have you ever broken your rear tire loose in gravel on purpose? (+2)

For extended periods? (+4)

Repeatedly? (+5)

Have you ever driven a street Vette on a jeep trail? (+4)

Have you ever driven a street Vette on a hiking trail? (+5)

Have you ever driven a street Vette through a puddle? (+1)

Have you ever driven a street Vette through water more than rim deep? (+1)

Have you ever driven a street Vette through water more than axle deep? (+2)

Have you ever forded a stream in a street Corvette? (+3)

Have you ever jumped a stream in a street Corvette? (+4)

Have you ever tried to jump your street Vette over a creek more than 20 ft across? (+5)

Did the Corvette weigh over 3500 lbs? (+6)

Did it weigh that much after the attempt? (-1)

Have you ever crossed a log bridge on a street Corvette? (+4)

Have you ever crossed a bridge made of a single log on a street Vette? (+4)

Have you ever crossed a rope bridge on a street Corvette? (+5)

Have you ever driven a street Vette along a set of railroad tracks (+3)

Have you ever driven when you thought there might be ice on the road? (+3)

Have you ever driven when you knew there was ice on the road? (+4)

Have you ever driven on an icy road using your feet as outriggers? (+3)

Have you ever driven a street Vette when there was snow on the road? (+4)

Have you ever towed a trailer with your Vette? (+1)

Have you ever towed a boat with your Vette? (+1)

Have you ever driven a boat that was a Vette? (+5)

Did you try to back it down the launching ramp? (+2)

Were you successful? (-1)

Have you ever towed another Vette with your Vette? (+3)

Have you ever participated in a coast race? (+8)

Have you ever fallen asleep while driving a Vette? (+6)

Have you ever fallen asleep in a race-replica Vette? (+8)

Did you wake up just as you left the road? (+3)

Did you wake up well after you left the road? (+4)

Have you ever been run over by a streetcar while driving your Vette? (+2)

Have you ever been hit by a Porsche while pushing an out-a gas Vette? (-3)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Driving Style

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you take advantage of your Vette's "rubber band" frame to help bend through corners? (+6)

Do you hang off the Vette while cornering? (+1)

Do you hang off the Vette while changing lanes on the freeway? (+3)

If you drive a full concours Vette, do you hang off the Vette while cornering? (+3)

Do you find yourself hanging on to the Vette for dear life? (+3)

Do you heel-and-toe? (+2)

Do you stick your leg out while turning through intersections? (+4)

Do you stick out your elbow while cornering? (+4)

Do you stick out your tongue while cornering? (+2)

Do you stand on the seat and lean over the windshield while cornering? (+2)

Have you ever used tire traction compound on a street Vette on public roads? (+3)

Have you ever used slicks on the street? (+4)

Were the tires "slick" when you bought them or only after 10,000 miles? (+6)

Do you carry a roll of duct tape as a matter of habit? (+1)

Is the duct tape color-matched to your Corvette's paint? (+3)

Is your Corvette's paint color-matched to duct tape? (+3)

Is your Corvette's finish a mix of duct tape and old tape adhesive? (+4)

Do you avoid fixing crash damage so you can show it off to your friends? (+4)

Have you ever used band-aids to patch crash damage? (+2)

Have you ever used baling wire that you found by the side of the road to re-attach parts which have fallen off? (+3)

Have you ever used old windshield wipers found in a gas station trash can to jam a tranny with a broken shifter into gear? (+3)

Have you ever driven backwards up a major thoroughfare in the early hours of the morning because the only gear that worked was reverse on your Corvette? (+3)

Explained why to the police? (+5)

Do you need to replace your clutch disks more often than your brake pads? (+5)

Do you need to replace your pistons more often than your brake pads? (+7)

Have you ever driven with a bandana tied around your antenna? (+3)

Do you have more than one antenna? (+2)

Have you ever up-shifted without the clutch? (+1)

Have you ever down-shifted without the clutch? (+1)

Do you do either regularly? (+2)

Have you ever honked your horn in a tunnel? (+1)

Have you ever revved your engine in a tunnel? (+2)

Have you ever flirted with an attractive member of the preferred sex while driving? (+1)

Did this cause the object of your attention to follow you home? (-1)

Did this cause the object of your attention to hunt you down? (+2)

Did this cause the object of your attention to throw items at you? (+2)

Did this cause the object of your attention to run off the road? (+3)

Did this cause the object of your attention to try to run you off the road? (+3)

Have you ever glued small plastic figurines to your Corvette? (+1)

Have you ever installed a bra on your Corvette? (+1)

Have you ever installed a built-in car cover on your Corvette? (+2)

Have you ever placed a sweat band on your brake fluid resevoir? (+2)

Have you habitually driven a Vette with a 3' congo drum strapped to the back? (+2)

Have you ever had a brake return spring break, causing the shoes to rub, heating up the brake fluid, thereby causing the brakes to come on? (+4)

Did you keep on driving anyways? (+5)

Have you ever boiled brake fluid? (+3)

Have you ever wheelied so often that you sheared the driveshaft? (+5)

Have you ever broken the differential mount? (+3)

Have you ever been stranded in the country because the differential teeth were worn completely off? (+3)

Have you ever installed truck air horns on a Vette? (+1)

Have you ever driven a Vette up on two wheels? (+2)

Have you ever been a passenger when two wheels were off the ground? (+2)

Going down a narrow alley? (+4)

Do you have any small rubber or plastic model cars/planes/'Bago's or similar devices glued on to the back of your Vette? (+1)

Have you ever tied a racoon tail (fake or real) to the back of your Vette? (+1)

Have you added performance related stickers/decals to your Vette? (1 point per sticker up to 20 pts)

If you've added the sticker or decal, but _not_ installed the actual item being advertised? (2 points per sticker/decal up to 40 pts)

Have you ever driven a Corvette without working instruments? (+2)

Have you ever used a cellular phone while driving a Corvette? (+4)

Have you ever rear-ended a Volvo in your Corvette because you were on the phone? (+6)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Driving With Others

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever driven with a group? (-1)

Was it staggered? (-1)

Was it staggering? (+1)

Have you ever been run over by a group? (+1)

When carrying a passenger, do you accelerate and decelerate more vigorously if the passenger is of the preferred sex (for intimate companionship)? (+3)

Have you ever had a passenger threaten to jump out? (+2)

Did you get bruises on your shifting arm before or after this threat? (+2)

While driving, have you changed your underwear when traffic was moving at more than 40 mph? (+4)

When traffic was moving at the posted speed limit? (+5)

Have you had a female passenger remove her bra while at freeway speeds with the Corvette top off/down? (+4)

Have you ever driven with a naked passenger? (+4)

Have you ever had sex in a Corvette? (+2)

While driving it? (+7)

While your partner was driving it? (+7)

Was the gerbil driving it? (+10)

While a busload of tourists looked down at you? (+6)

Did you get married in a Corvette? (+3)

Do you encourage your passengers of the opposite sex to hang on by wrapping their legs around your neck? (+2)

Did they do it? (-1)

While driving with a group, have you ever driven ahead several miles and stopped to wait for them, only to find that they had taken a turnoff you missed several miles back? (+3)

Have you ever taken a friend's key out of their ignition at a stop light and then driven off? (+5)

Have you ever driven close enough to a friend so that your door handles came in contact? (+4)

Have you ever raced another Corvette on a public highway? (+6)

Have you ever raced a Porsche? (+2)

Did you lose? (+5)

Have you ever raced a train? (+2)

Have you ever tried to beat a train to a crossing? (+5)

Did you tie? (+7)

Have you ever raced a cropduster? (+4)

Have you ever raced an F-4? (+4)

Have you ever felt threatened because a scooter got a better start across an intersection than you? (+3)

Have you ever crashed on Dave McClellan's driveway? (+2)

Have you ever crashed on Zora's driveway? (+2)

Have you ever crashed on Dave Hill's driveway? (+2)

Has any Chief Corvette Engineer ever driven your car? (+3)

Do you have any autographs of famous Corvette drivers? (+1 for each)

Do you have autographs of famous Corvette engineers? (+2 for each)

Have you ever touched a Vette with a "Do Not Touch" sign on it? (+1)

Have you ever torched a Vette? (+8)

Have you ever run into someone else's Vette while they were in it? (+2)

Have you ever damaged a Vette worth more than $100,000? (+5)

Have you ever crashed while trying to keep up with a faster driver? (+4)

Have you ever had someone crash while trying to keep up with you? (+2)

On a group drive, have you ever run into the Vette in front of you? (+4)

Have you ever used a Vette to pull a piano down the street in a large city? (+4)

Were the spectators cheering you on? (-1)

Have you ever played chicken by driving in the dark with no headlights? (+9)

Have you ever lost a passenger out of your Vette? (+2)

Did he/she get back in your Vette? (-1)

Have you ever said to a friend, "I think my Vette is experiencing a bit of a high speed wobble. Would you drive it for me to confirm this?"? (+3)

Have you ever agreed to do this when a friend has asked you the same thing? (+5)

Have you ever acted as a test pilot for a friend when he/she is making suspension modifications? (+5)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Social Skills

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever been annoyed at a Porsche because he/she was travelling at the posted speed limit? (+3)

Have you ever given a Porsche the finger because of inept driving on their part? (+1)

Have you ever given a Porsche the finger because of inept driving on your part? (+4)

Have you ever given a Porsche the finger for no reason at all? (+4)

Has a Porsche ever given you the finger? (+2)

Have you ever kicked a Porsche's door while driving a Corvette? (+6)

Do you carry rusty railroad spikes with you on your Vette to take out really annoying Porsches? (+8)

Have you ever gotten out of your Vette at a stop light to go and yell at a Porsche? (+5)

Have you ever had a Porsche phone-in your license plate number to the police? (+4)

Does your low-beam headlight consume more than 700 watts? (+2)

Does your high-beam headlight use rare earth metals? (+2)

Is your high-beam normally used on large commercial aircraft? (+4)

Can your headlight be used to cook microwave dinners? (+4)

Are you proud of that fact? (+2)

Are your horns rated at more than 130 decibels? (+1)

When driving on the freeway, do you flash your high-beam to get other cars to pull to the right (left in UK or Australia)? (+2)

Do you drive with your high-beam on continuously? (+2)

Do you regularly drive armed with paint-ball gun? (+6)

Have you ever considered installing high powered weaponry (like a rocket launcher) on your Vette? (+2)

Have you ever installed imitation weaponry on your Corvette? (+4)

Have you ever installed real weaponry on your Corvette? (+8)

Do you tow weaponry with your Corvette? (+7)

Have you ever passed a car on a two lane road? (+1)

Have you ever passed more than 2 cars at once? (+1)

More than 5? (+3)

More than 10? (+5)

More than 20? (+7)

Have you ever passed a car when the road was marked with a double-yellow line? (+4)

Have you ever passed a car on the inside of a left hand turn (right hand in the UK or Australia)? (+4)

Have you ever passed a car on the inside of a right hand turn (left hand in the UK or Australia)? (+8)

Have you ever run another car off the road? (+10)

Have you ever dinged a friend's Vette? (+4)

Have you ever dinged a friend's Vette in the witness of that friend? (+5)

Have you ever totalled a friend's Vette before owning your own? (+10)

Do you relish the idea of waking up your neighbors simply by starting your Corvette? (+4)

Does your exhaust volume set off the neighborhood dogs? (+2)

Does your exhaust volume set off car alarms? (+4)

Does your exhaust volume set off the local air raid siren? (+6)

Does your exhaust volume cause cows county-wide to stop producing milk? (+8)

Have you ever attained the national speed limit on a freeway on-ramp? (+4)

Have you ever had to drop anchor to match speeds with freeway traffic? (+2)

Have you ever crossed more than one lane of traffic on the freeway at a time? (+2)

Have you ever tried to cross more freeway lanes than were available? (+5)

Were you successful? (-1)

Have you ever honked your horn for the express purpose of alarming barnyard animals? (+1)

Have you ever revved your engine for the same purpose? (+3)

Have you ever driven to the head of the line at an intersection? (+3)

Have you ever picked up and flicked a cigarette butt back into another car while waiting at an intersection? (-1)

Have you ever asked a hotel manager, "Since I'm already parked in your flowers, can I keep it there?" (+4)

Have you ever stopped at a stoplight and had the people in the car next to you lock their doors? (+2)

Have you ever said, thought, typed or written ,"Ferry Porsche is a Jerk"? (-3)

Do you honestly believe that he is? (-3)

Have you ever complained about the namby-pamby safety rules at a driving school? (+4)

Have you ever won an award for worst luck on a run? (+4)

Did you go out of your way to win the award? (+4)

Have you ever won the DickWeed Award? (+4)

Are you proud of it? (+4)

Have you ever parked your Corvette in a hotel room? (+3)

Was the room on anything other than the ground floor? (+3)

Have you ever participated in a gang-FAQ? (+2)

Did you smoke afterward? (+1)

Are you a member of the NCOA, NCCC or any other national Corvette association? (-1)

Are you a member of the NCRS? (-2)

Do you think the NCRS aren't strict enough? (+1)

Have you been to Millard? (+4)

Have you driven on Route 66? (+1)

With open headers? (+2)

Have you ever driven with the ZR1 Registry? (+2)

Are you a member of the ZR1 Registry? (+2)

Have you ever driven on the shoulder to get around stopped traffic? (+1)

Have you ever driven on the shoulder to get around traffic moving at the posted speed limit? (+8)

Did you ever throw dirt on your buddies Vette just because it didn't have any? (+2)

Was your buddy bigger than you? (+2)

Have you ever averaged more than 100 mph for a drive of more than 500 miles? (+6)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apparel

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever driven with a bandana tied around your head? (+1)

Have you ever driven a Corvette on public streets with a helmet? (+8)

Have you ever driven a Corvette on public streets with short pants? (+5)

Have you ever driven a Corvette on public streets without shoes or only wearing thongs? (+5)

Have you ever driven a Vette without a shirt (men) or only a halter or Bikini top (women)? (+5)

For Women: Have you driven topless? (+6)

For Men: Have you won a bikini contest at a Corvette Show? (+6)

Have you ever driven a Corvette on public streets without a brain? (+5)

Have you ever had to strip by the side of the road because a bee got in your clothes? (+2)

Did traffic slow to watch? (+2)

Did you get any tip money? (-1)

Have you ever driven a Vette on public streets naked? (+10)

In broad daylight? (+5)

Have you ever driven nude on Labor Day? (+5)

Have you ever driven in the nude with a group? (+5)

Have you ever driven in the nude on a busy freeway? (+7)

Do you still own your first helmet? (-1)

Do you own a neon colored helmet? (+3)

Have you ever seen a neon colored helmet? (+1)

Would you ever buy a friend a neon helmet? (+5)

Does your helmet have 3 or more colors? (+2)

Is that why you bought it? (+5)

Does your helmet match your car? (+2)

Do you have a race suit? (-4)

Did you discover you drive faster after purchasing your first race suit? (+2)

Do you wear a back protector? (-5)

Do your driving shoes have 3 or more colors? (+3)

Do your driving gloves have 3 or more colors? (+2)

Have you ever patched your racing suit with duct tape? (+2)

Have you ever patched your driving shoes with duct tape? (+2)

Have you ever patched your driving gloves with duct tape? (+3)

Have you ever patched your helmet with duct tape? (+6)

Have you ever patched yourself with duct tape? (+8)

Have you ever installed stereo speakers in your helmet? (+3)

Have you ever installed a nitrous oxide injection system in your helmet? (+8)

Have your ever applied stickers to your helmet? (+4)

Did you apply the stickers to cover up impact marks? (+9)

Have you ever had your helmet painted professionally? (+3)

Have you ever painted your helmet yourself? (+3)

Did you use an air brush and professional paints? (+1)

Did you use spray paint from the supermarket? (+3)

Do you buy a black helmet so it is easier to find a magic marker to color in the dents and scrapes from dropping it all the time? (+4)

Do you keep using such a helmet? (+9)

Have you ever attached small stuffed animals to your helmet? (+2)

Have you ever attached small live animals to your helmet? (+8)

Have you ever done up your helmet like a trojan war helm? (+6)

Have you ever covered your helmet with feathers? (+3)

Have you ever tied a live chicken to your helmet? (+9)

Have you ever painted your head to look like a helmet? (+9)

Have you ever painted your helmet to look like a head? (+5)

Have you ever used a trash bag as a rain suit? (+2)

Have you ever worn an outfit just to be seen in the Vette that you know will result in you freezing to death on the whole trip? (+4)

Have you ever sent a helmet back to the manufacturer for inspection after a drop? (-3)

Have you ever retired a helmet because of a drop? (-3)

Have you ever painted small black silhouettes of Corvettes on your side panels? (+4)

Have you ever painted small black silhouettes of animals on your hood? (+3)

Have you ever painted small black silhouettes of people on your hood? (+9)

Have you ever painted small black silhouettes of Porsches on your hood bulge? (+9)

Have you ever worried about exposure to RF radiation from your radar detector? (+5)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Corvette modifications

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you expect to get over 100,000 miles out of your Corvette's engine? (-1)

Have you ever replaced the seat on your Corvette only because of appearance? (+2)

Have you ever fitted tires to your Corvette other than factory OEM? (-2)

Have you ever fitted wider than spec tires to your Vette's rims? (+1)

Have you ever knowingly bought Bridgestone tires? (+4)

Have you ever fitted radial tires on a Vette not designed for them? (+1)

Have you ever fitted bias-ply tires on a Vette designed for radials? (+3)

Have you installed an oil cooler? (-1)

Have you installed a system to bring extra oil to the cylinder head(s)? (-2)

Have you ever changed your Vette's gearing to improve top speed? (+2)

Have you ever changed your Vette's gearing to improve acceleration? (+2)

Have you ever changed your Vette's gearing without knowing how it would affect either? (+4)

Have you ever undercut your Corvette's transmission gears? (+2)

Have you ever installed a "lock-up" differential? (+2)

Have you ever bored out your Vette's cylinders before regular engine wear dictated it? (+3)

Have you ever had your crankshaft lightened and balanced? (+3)

Have you ever installed aftermarket connecting rods? (+3)

Have you ever installed aftermarket pistons? (+3)

Have you ever installed an aftermarket cylinder block? (+3)

Have you ever installed high lift camshafts in your Vette's engine? (+3)

Have you ever had your cam sprockets slotted? (+3)

Have you ever installed an ignition advance kit? (+3)

Have you ever installed an air shifter? (+4)

Have you ever installed a deadman switch? (+2)

Have your ever taken apart a carburetor? (+1)

Have you ever put one back together? (+2)

Have you paid someone else to make it work? (-2)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's carburetor(s)? (+3)

With fuel injection? (+3)

Have you modified a Vette to make it more valuable at Bloomington? (-10)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's main jets? (+1)

Have you ever installed neon colored fuel line? (+4)

Have you ever installed a nitrous oxide injection system on your Vette? (+5)

Have you ever installed a turbocharger on your Vette? (+6)

Have you ever installed a supercharger on your Vette? (+9)

Have you ever installed aftermarket coils? (+2)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's coils with a magneto? (+6)

Have you ever installed an aftermarket "black-box"? (+4)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's electronic ignition with a set of points? (+7)

Have you ever changed the firing order on a multi-cylinder Corvette? (+6)

Have you ever changed the firing order on a single-cylinder Corvette? (+9)

Have you ever inverted your shift linkage? (+4)

Did you do it so you could shift "just like the racers"? (+4)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's rims? (+3)

Have you ever replaced cast alloy rims with laced wheels? (+6)

Do you have aftermarket suspension components on your Vette? (+2)

Did you install them yourself? (+3)

Do you have aftermarket engine components on your Vette? (+2)

Have you had to pay someone to fix something you broke? (-1 for each)

Do you have an aftermarket engine in your Vette? (+3)

Do you have an aftermarket transmission in your Vette? (+4)

Do you have a mixture of different year Corvette parts on your Vette? (-2)

Do they make it go faster? (+1)

Do you have aftermarket wheels on your Vette? (-2)

Do you have real magnesium wheels on your Vette? (+3)

Have you ever shot a rifle at burning Magnesium? (+8)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's rear shock absorber(s)? (+2)

Have you ever pinned your Vette's rear shock absorber(s)? (+6)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's springs? (+2)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's springs with solid steel bars? (+6)

Or did it just feel that way? (+3)

Have you ever lowered your front suspension? (+3)

Did this cause the tires to tag the wheel wells the first time you hit a bump? (+3)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's leaf springs with coils? (+6)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's swingarm front end with a telescopic unit? (+9)

Have you ever installed a steering damper? (+4)

Have you ever installed stainless steel brake lines? (+1)

Have you used colored spiral wrap on those lines? (+3)

Have you ever installed oversize brake rotors? (+2)

Have you ever installed carbon fiber brake rotors? (+3)

Have you ever installed carbon fiber brake pads? (+3)

Have you ever repainted your Vette? (+1)

Did you have the repainting done professionally? (-1)

Did you repaint your Vette yourself with professional tools? (-1)

Did you repaint your Vette yourself with paint from spray cans? (+2)

Did you repaint your Vette yourself after six beers? (+4)

Did you let your buddies repaint your Vette after a couple of cases? (+8)

Did the new paint job have more colors that the stock paint work? (+3)

Did you repaint your Vette in neon colors? (+5)

Did you repaint your Vette using flourescent paint? (+5)

Have you ever painted a Corvette yellow with red flames? (+5)

Have you added non-Vette body parts to your Vette? (-2)

Did you paint your helmet yellow to match? (+4)

Have you ever shortened your Vette's shifter? (+3)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's windscreen with a non-standard colored unit? (+4)

Have you ever installed window tinting? (+2)

Have you ever replaced your Vette's exhaust system when the original was still in good shape? (+3)

Did you choose your new exhaust system based on claimed horsepower improvements? (+3)

Have you ever bolted on an aftermarket exhaust without bothering to use the hangers? (+3)

Have you ever painted your Vette's exhaust headers? (+2)

Have you ever wrapped your Vette's exhaust headers? (+3)

Have you ever had your engine powder coated? (+3)

Have you ever had your entire engine chromed? (+6)

Did the engine last more than 300 miles before melting into a single lump? (-1)

Have you let your SO drive your Vette? (+3)

In a race? (+5)

Have your ever replaced your Vette's rear shocks? (+4)

Have you ever radiused your Vette's rear wheel well? (+2)

Have you ever taken a radiused wheel well back to stock? (+3)

Have you ever trimmed your Vette's front fender well to allow for a wider tire? (+4)

Have you ever polished your frame? (+4)

Have you ever installed deer whistles on a Corvette? (+1)

Do you honestly believe they work? (+3)

Did you install the deer whistles inside the passenger compartment? (+7)

Have you ever put number plates on a street Vette? (+5)

Have you had to replace your IRS with a solid axle because the wheels were too large? (+6)

Did you have to bend the frame to make the wheels fit? (+7)

Did you have to hacksaw parts off of the axle to make it fit within the frame? (+3)

Did you hacksaw off parts of the frame to make the tire fit? (+9)

Did you ever have to do both? (+10)

Have you ever made gaskets out of aluminum cans? (+4)

Did it work? (-1)

Did you rely on them to get you the 500 miles back to your home? (+3)

Have you ever replaced your Corvette's body parts? (+4)

Have you ever replaced your Corvette's front clip with an aftermarket unit which did not allow for a headlight? (+6)

Have you ever added a lower wheel to a Corvette not designed for one? (+4)

Have you ever installed carbon fiber body parts? (+4)

Have you ever replaced your Corvettes bodywork fasteners with Dzus fasteners? (+2)

Was this because you were always removing the bodywork to fix problems with the engine due to the modifications you made? (+6)

Have you ever wired your Vette to self-destruct in case of theft? (+4)

Have you ever added lights to a Vette designed only for closed-course use so that you could use it on the road? (+5)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Corvette Maintenance

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you regularly place an oil pan under your Vette while it is parked? (+2)

Have you ever changed your own oil? (-1)

Have you ever checked your oil level? (-1)

Have you ever changed the oil without replacing the filter? (+1)

Have you ever reuse old motor oil in your Vette? (+3)

Have you ever dropped loose change into the oil filler hole? (+3)

Have you ever run your engine without oil? (+5)

Have you ever ignored an oil leak? (+3)

Have you ever done scheduled maintenance? (-1)

Have you ever done maintenance before a drive? (-1)

Have you ever cleaned your Corvette's air filter? (-1)

Have you ever cleaned the front of the radiator? (+2)

Have you ever avoided fixing a noise that can be drowned out with earplugs? (+3)

Have you ever not fixed something on your Vette with the excuse that "It is a Survivor?" (+7)

Have you ever lubed your tranny? (-1)

Have you ever lubed your spline? (-1)

Have you ever adjusted your timing chain? (-1)

Do you replace your sprockets when you replace the chain? (-1)

Have you ever bled your brakes? (-1)

Have you ever replaced your brake pads/shoes? (-1)

Have you ever replaced your brake fluid? (-1)

Have you ever replaced your brake fluid with a different type? (+3)

Do you regularily check your battery's electrolyte level? (-1)

Do you regularily put your battery on a trickle charger? (-1)

Have you ever used a charger designed for motorcycle batteries on your Corvette battery? (+2)

Have you ever not fixed an engine noise so you could claim that it gave the Vette that extra special bit of "character"? (+3)

Have you ever checked and cleaned your spark plugs? (-1)

Have you ever replaced your spark plugs? (-1)

Have you ever checked your valve clearances? (-1)

Have you ever adjusted your valves? (-1)

Have you ever had to re-do the job in less than 500 miles? (+2)

Have you ever torn down your Corvette's engine hunting for an engine noise which was actually characteristic of your Vette's model? (+4)

Have you ever changed your Vette's coolant? (-1)

Do you regularily check your coolant's specific weight? (-1)

Have you ever had to tear down an engine? (+1)

Have you ever done major engine work without a torque wrench? (+3)

Have you ever done major engine work armed only with a pair of rusty pliers? (+6)

Have you ever done major engine work armed only with the tool kit which came with your Corvette? (+9)

Have you ever had to reassemble an engine more than once to get it right? (+3)

Have you ever reused an O-ring? (+3)

Have you ever reused a gasket? (+3)

Have you ever reused a head or base gasket? (+7)

Have you ever reassembled a transmission and found that the shift pattern had become "3-1-6-N-2-5-4"? (+4)

Have you ever reassembled an engine and found any small parts or fasteners left over? (+4)

Did you worry about them? (-4)

Have you ever reassembled an engine, started it, and found that it was running backwards? (+4)

Have you ever mounted and balanced your own tires? (-1)

Have you ever subsequently re-balanced your tires? (+1)

Have you ever used a tire balancing fluid? (+1)

Have you ever bought replacement parts for your Vette at the hardware store? (+3)

Are they still in use on your Vette? (+3)

Have you ever fabricated replacement parts out of local native materials like sticks and rocks? (+4)

Are they still in use on your Vette? (+4)

Have you ever replaced a part in your Corvette engine with a part designed for another car? (+2)

Have you ever replaced a part in your Corvette engine with a part designed for a motorcycle? (+7)

Do you have unused parts for Corvettes you don't have? (+6)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Encounters With Bureaucracy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever parked your Corvette illegally? (+2)

Knowingly? (+2)

Have you ever received a parking ticket? (+1)

Have you ever ignored it because the plate on the ticket was incorrect? (+3)

Have you ever run a stop light or stop sign? (+2)

Have you ever run a stop light or sign in the witness of a Vette crowd? (+4)

Have you ever had your Vette towed? (+2)

Do you use a radar detector? (+2)

Have you ever crashed because you locked up the wheels when your radar detector went off? (+6)

Did the cop with the radar gun wonder why you crashed? (+2)

Do you rely on the radar detector alone to save you from tickets? (+8)

Have you ever been faked out by a Subaru with a ski rack? (+2)

Have you received a ticket in the past twelve months? (+2)

Have you received 2 tickets in the past twelve months? (+3)

Have you received 3 or more tickets in the past twelve months? (+5)

Have you received tickets in more than 2 states or countries? (+3)

Have you received tickets in more than 5 states or countries? (+5)

Have you received tickets in all the lower 48 states? (+7)

Do you have your collection framed? (+2)

Have you ever completely ignored a ticket? (+4)

Have you ever ripped up a ticket? (+4)

Have you ever ripped up a ticket in the presence of the awarding officer? (+6)

Have you ever ignited a ticket? (+5)

Have you ever ignited a ticket in the presence of the awarding officer? (+7)

Have you ever eaten a ticket? (+6)

Have you ever eaten a ticket in the presence of the awarding officer? (+8)

Have you ever gotten off with only a warning? (+1)

Are you now wary of driving in certain states or countries? (+3)

Have you ever had a warrant served because of your driving behavior? (+6)

Have you ever driven without a license? (+3)

Have you driven without a license for more than a year? (+5)

For 5 or more years? (+7)

Have you driven without _any_ sort of license? (+8)

Have you ever had a license suspended because of your driving behavior? (+8)

Have you ever driven with a suspended or revoked license? (+8)

Have you driven a Vette without a valid registration? (+5)

Have you ever driven without insurance? (+4)

Have you ever driven with the wrong license plate on your Vette? (+7)

Have you ever operated a Corvette that was not legal in the country or state you were driving it it? (+5)

Have you ever driven a purpose-built road-race Vette on the street? (+6)

Have you ever driven a purpose-built drag-race Vette on the street? (+8)

Have you ever brought a grey-market Vette into your home country? (+6)

Have you ever dinged a Vette during a license test because you were trying to show off? (+3)

Have you ever taken a Corvette road test on the coldest day of the year with ice and snow everywhere? (+3)

Did you crash on your first legal drive? (first drive after getting license) (+6)

Have you ever blown through a toll gate? (+5)

Have you ever met an oncoming police car in a corner? (+5)

Did the police officer then stop you and give you a ticket, claiming that he could "tell" how fast you were going because of the sound of your engine? (+5)

Have you ever argued a ticket in court? (+1)

Have you ever successfully argued a ticket in court? (-4)

Have you ever had a ticket fine increased because of your behavior in court? (+4)

Have you ever closed on a car from behind at a healthy rate only to discover that it as an unmarked police car? (+4)

Have you ever collided with a police car while driving a Corvette? (+6)

Was the police car parked at the time? (+4)

Was the police car occupied at the time? (+5)

If the police car was not occupied, did you wait for the officer to come back? (-4)

Was the police car moving in the same direction as you at the speed limit at the time? (+10)

Have you ever collided with a police Corvette while driving your Corvette? (+6)

Have you ever collided with your insurance agent while driving your Corvette? (+7)

Have you ever attempted to evade police pursuit while driving a Corvette? (+9)

Have you ever successfully evaded police pursuit while driving a Corvette? (+2)

Have you ever had to accelerate to over 120 mph during a pass to avoid a head-on collision with an a oncoming car? (+4; add 1 point per 2 mph over 120 mph up to 30 extra points. Add an extra 5 points if the oncoming car was a cop.)

Have you adjusted your rear brake light switch so that you can slow rapidly without alerting a police car behind you? (+2)

Have you ever disconnected your rear brake light switch? (+4)

Have you installed a "stealth" switch which turns off all lights to allow unnoticed high speed travel in desolate areas at night? (+4)

Have you ever wheelied (even a little bit) in view of the local constabulary? (+4)

Did you see the police officer before lifting the front wheel? (+6)

Did you do it with a concours Corvette? (+6)

Has a cop ever said "You been through this before, haven't you?" (+4)

Have you ever pulled a wheelie in front of a police station? (+6)

Did you wonder why the police were upset when they destroyed several cars trying to catch you? (+9)

Do you have trouble getting a license because the last state revoked yours? (+5)

Have you considered moving to another continent because of this? (+5)

Did you ever wonder why there was a police blockage up ahead and then find out that a cop had been trying to catch you for several miles? (+10)

Have you ever run a police blockade in a Corvette? (+10)

Do you drive with a state police sticker on your Vette to help talk your way out of tickets? (+5)

Have you ever had a court order you to sell your Corvette because of your driving behavior? (+10)

Have you ever burnt rubber out of a DUI checkpoint? (+1 for each time)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Multiple Choice Questions:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When asked by the officer to show proof of insurance, you

[a] Pull the insurance certificate from your glove box.

[b] Rummage around in your glove box and center console for five minutes

then exclaim, "the dog ate it!"

[c] Glance down at his/her gun and try to guess how many rounds are

loaded.

[d] Drop the clutch and stomp on the throttle.

[e] Recite the policy number from memory.

You have just hit "E" on your gas tank. You

[a] Continue on to the next gas station.

[b] drive as far as gas allows, and hike to the nearest

gas station.

[c] Pass the next station, and figure you've got enough

range to make it to the next town.

Your first question on regaining consciousness is

[a] Is everybody all right?

[b] Is my Vette OK?

[c] Can I drive it home with the wheels bent under like that?

You change your oil

[a] Every 300 miles.

[b] When the light comes on.

[c] When it starts making noise.

[d] $68,000 and now they want me to pay more?

When you go hard into a turn, which usually scrapes the road first?

[a] Your floorboards.

[b] Your exhaust pipes.

[c] Your helmet.

A helmet can best protect you in a crash if its

[a] on your head.

[b] on your arm.

[c] bungeed to the rear storage area.

You like to drive in a group because

[a] help is immediate in case of an accident.

[b] there are more eyes looking out for cops.

[c] there is always someone to race.

You go to breakfast before a drive, and during the pre-drive posing,

a friend notices your gas cap missing. you

[a] call a friend with a truck and tow it home.

[b] drive with your friend to a local shop and

get a new gas cap.

[c] go to the nearest hardware store buy a sack of rags.

[d] go driving. It hasn't dumped gas yet, so it probably

won't during the drive.

You go to breakfast before a drive, and during the pre-drive posing,

a friend notices a spot of oil under your Vette. you

[a] call a friend with a truck and tow it home.

[b] say, "It's just marking it's spot."

[c] borrow a flashlight, find the source, and apply a wad of bubble gum.

You bought your latest Vette because of its

[a] record of reliability.

[b] performance specifications.

[c] way cool paint job.

[d] way cool salesperson.

[e] exceptionally high price.

You replace your tires when

[a] They reach the wear bars.

[b] The wear bars wear off.

[c] The rubber is so thin that the tires lose all their air while

parked overnight.

You replace your brake pads when

[a] they reach the manufacturer's wear limit.

[b] they start scoring the rotors.

[c] ... you don't know. You've never had a Vette last that long.

A long drive is

[a] 1000 miles in one day.

[b] 1000 miles over a weekend.

[c] 5 passes up and down the strip.

Your favorite Corvette movie is

[a] "Corvette Summer."

[b] "Tape from Millard Fillmore."

[c] "Miami Vice."

The proper way to pass a car on a two-lane road is

[a] to signal your intention and wave to the car after passing.

[b] turn on your high-beam while passing.

[c] maintain a wheelie for the duration of the pass.

[d] on the inside of a blind curve.

The Corvette calendar in your garage is titled

[a] "American Classics."

[b] "Corvettes."

[c] "Hot Dates."

You think that turbocharging a Corvette is

[a] juvenile and dangerous.

[b] a good project for the mechanically inclined tinkerer.

[c] the only way to outrun the police.

When out driving with a group you

[a] keep a steady pace with the group.

[b] pass slower drivers in the twisty parts.

[c] give it full throttle on the straights to catch up with all

the drivers who passed you in the twisties.

When you park your Corvette, do you

[a] carefully back into a parking spot so it will be easy to leave.

[b] drive in, assuming you'll be able to back your way out.

[c] drive in at 60 mph, and see how many Vettes you can set off alarms on.

The best way to improve performance of a ZR1 is

[a] Use high test gas.

[b] Nitrous Oxide Injection.

[c] Install P-51 Mustang Engine.

[d] Take it to Guldstrand.

The reason you drill your own brake rotors is

[a] To reduce the brake friction area so brake pads last longer.

[b] So you can look as cool as the rest of the guys in the drive-in!

[c] To remove weight from the front of the Vette, so you can wheelie better.

Single front brake disk rotors are better than dual rotors when

[a] You only have one front caliper.

[b] You don't have both red and green paint handy.

[c] Brakes? Feelthy brakes? I never use no brakes!

The best passenger to have in a Vette is

[a] Your mother-in-law.

[b] The 300 lb. barmaid from that last truckstop.

[c] A TV Star who plays a policeman.

You decide to make your mark on the net. So you

[a] Post something about driving a "fast" Vette.

[b] Post dozens of ghost-posts with the name Shawn.

[c] Announce the creation of alt.vettes.rule.

For your preferred driving, you measure time in

[a] days.

[b] hours.

[c] minutes.

[d] seconds.

[e] tenths of seconds.

How often do you exceed the national speed limit?

[a] I always obey the speed limits.

[b] My Vette won't go that fast, the chrome's too heavy.

[c] The only time I'm under it is when I'm stopped.

An SCCA racer is

[a] A coffee-a-holic who races to get the last cup outta the pot.

[b] Somebody that sits around in cafes and talks about racing.

[c] Somebody who can't drive anywhere near as fast as I can.

How do you start your Vette?

[a] You snarl at it until it starts.

[b] You push the florescent button marked "start".

[c] You always park on hills so you don't have to mess with that.

You're following a motor home on a twisty mountain road, and

[a] You wave your arms and blow your horn, hoping he'll pull over.

[b] You pass him on the first left hand turn, since that's the shortest line.

[c] You pass him on the right berm, since there's at least 2 feet of clearance.

You want the latest hi-tech parts on your Vette, so you

[a] install Kevlar brake pads so you're bullet proof.

[b] paint the Vette day-glo pink to be sure people notice you.

[c] install a 500 Watt sound system with stereo earphones in your Oakley Blades.

You are telling driving stories. Other than your usual driving buddies, who are you most likely to be talking to?

[a] yourself.

[b] the net.

[c] your insurance agent.

[d] your probation officer.

You just crashed your Vette on main street during Vette week. You say

[a] "HOW'S MY Vette!?"

[b] "Listen little girl, get your damn tennis ball out of here before I tell your mom you left an ice cream sandwich in the glove compartment."

[c] "Damn I hate when that happens ... got beer all over my Oakleys."

[d] "Cool."

For you, the primary advantage of a high horsepower(>400) Vette is

[a] increased carrying capacity.

[b] decreased passing distance.

[c] less front tire wear.

You've just bought a '73 Big block, and the first accessory you are considering is

[a] A trailer hitch.

[b] stiffer springs.

[c] a supercharger kit.

Your yearly insurance bill for your latest Corvette is

[a] <$200.

[b] >$200 and <$1000.

[c] >$1000.

[d] $0. Insurance companies refuse to cover you.

Your first trip back to the dealer after purchasing a new Corvette is for

[a] the 500 mile break-in service.

[b] a new clutch.

[c] a new engine.

You communicate with your passenger via

[a] an intercom.

[b] handsignals.

[c] hard braking and rapid acceleration through turns so that your helmets clonk together in morse code.

When you inspect your tires after a drive, it is to

[a] look for small nails.

[b] see how far you're pushing the sidewalls over.

[c] see if there is still air in them.

You like to start a weekend drive

[a] before 5 in the morning.

[b] not before noon.

[c] only after a few beers.

The most important item in your storage compartment is

[a] your tire repair kit.

[b] your sunglasses.

[c] your supply of golf balls and sparkplugs.

You wave to other Vettes

[a] always.

[b] only if they're driving the same generation of Vette as you.

[c] only when they're pulled over by the police.

You think you can outrun

[a] a police paddy-wagon.

[b] a police cruiser.

[c] a police pursuit car.

[d] a motorola.

Each time you see an oncoming police car, you expect

[a] a friendly wave.

[b] another week in traffic school.

[c] a high-speed chase.

Your speed is limited by

[a] posted speed limits.

[b] road conditions and visibility.

[c] quantum mechanics.

At a big party with your driving buddies, you give awards to

[a] the owner of the Vette with the most chrome.

[b] the owner of the Vette with the loudest exhaust.

[c] anybody that actually drove all the way there without damaging themselves.

You keep warm in cold weather by

[a] using an electric vest.

[b] using the heater with the top down/off.

[c] shivering.

[d] staying inside. You won't drive if it's less than 75 out there.

Proper driving attire is

[a] a suit.

[b] torn red flannel shirt and blue jeans.

[c] whatever was on top of the laundry pile.

You're driving at night and a deer appears in your headlights. Your response is to

is to

[a] drop anchor and weave the headlight back and forth across the road.

[b] pull the clutch, rev the engine, and try to scare the deer with exhaust noise.

[c] pop a wheelie and pray.

You bought a Vette with anti-lock brakes because

[a] you want the extra feeling of security.

[b] you want the latest gadgetry.

[c] so you can leave perforated skid marks at stop lights.

You think that a traction control system on a Corvette is

[a] long over due.

[b] great for the drag strip.

[c] a threat to freedom.

A friend offers you a drive in his newly restored big-block Vette. You

[a] decline, because you don't feel capable of handling it.

[b] decline, stating that you'ld rather wait until the break-in period is over.

[c] accept and leave his driveway by revving it to redline, dumping the clutch, and wheelieing all the way to the street.

When you see another Corvette driver on the street, you

[a] wave to a kindred spirit.

[b] try to identify the Vette.

[c] think to yourself, "I could take him."

To you, "shaft-effect" is

[a] the reaction of the rear suspension of a sudden throttle change while cornering.

[b] a myth.

[c] being charged more than $1000 dollars by the dealer for replacement plastic.

If you had a spare $3000, you would

[a] buy a new top-quality stereo.

[b] buy a new exhaust system.

[c] finally fix that leftover crash damage you didn't want to tell the insurance company about.

Your choice for motor oil is

[a] your Corvette's brand name only (i.e. Mr. Goodwrench).

[b] top grade synthetic only.

[c] whatever is on sale at the supermarket.

How often do you check the air pressure in your tires?

[a] before every drive.

[b] every 1000 miles.

[c] once a year.

[d] eh?

You've just overcooked a corner and a crash is inevitable. Your instinct is to

[a] grab the steering wheel until you realize there are explosives there.

[b] try to save it.

[c] look for a llama ranch.

Your friends ask you for your opinion on Corvettes because they respect

[a] your safety record and knowledge of the sport.

[b] your mechanical expertise.

[c] the way your sunglasses match your Vette's paint job.

How did you buy your latest Corvette?

[a] cash.

[b] credit.

[c] money from Mom.

You want to put a station wagon rear on your Corvette

[a] so you can take the whole family on drives with you.

[b] because you think regular Corvettes are kind of impractical.

[c] so you can continue to drive when the roads are coated with ice.

You think that a Vette's windscreen should always be

[a] clear, so that visibility is maximized.

[b] smoked, so that road glare is minimized.

[c] mirrored, so that ... God knows why.

When you hit the horn button, people

[a] have no clue.

[b] think it's just an old Toyota truck.

[c] think it's a runaway semi hauling fertilizer.

[d] think it's the Apocalypse.

After a pass, you feel it is safe to return to your lane when

[a] you can see the car's headlights in your mirrors.

[b] you sense that you're past the car.

[c] you can see the whites of their eyes.

You own another car because you sometimes have to commute when

[a] the roads are covered with snow.

[b] it's raining.

[c] it's below 65 degrees when you wake up.

Your Corvette driver training consisted of

[a] a Bondurant and SCCA class.

[b] a rainy night behind K-mart.

[c] the dealer showing you how to shift.

When leading a drive through some twisties, you

[a] always make sure the fellow behind you made it through the last corner before entering the next.

[b] take off and wait at the agreed upon meeting point.

[c] say "race 'ya!" and get smoked in the first corner by 6 drivers, including the guy on the scooter.

You equate "shimmy" with

[a] nothing. It's never happened to you.

[b] that funny feeling when you try to drive out of a corner too hard.

[c] what most people do when you drive by.

The gas you purchase for your Corvette

[a] is always at least 87 octane.

[b] is always at least 92 octane.

[c] can only be found at airports.

You clean your jets by

[a] removing them and spraying them with carb cleaner.

[b] relying on fuel additives.

[c] ... hell, you installed injection years ago.

Before a long drive, your breakfast is usually

[a] a hearty bowl of oatmeal.

[b] a hearty bowl of Cap'n Crunch.

[c] two pots of coffee.

You change your Corvette's engine oil

[a] every 1500 miles.

[b] every 3000 miles.

[c] every once in a while. Instead you just keep adding oil whenever that little red light comes on.

How often do you adjust your timing chain?

[a] Whenever the slack exceeds the manufacturer's limits.

[b] Whenever you can remember.

[c] Huh? Metal chains _can't_ stretch, can they?

Your license plate frame says

[a] "Cognito ergo zoom!"

[b] "Live to flame, flame to live."

[c] "Caution, driver may bail."

When a friend says that his float bowls are plugged, do you

[a] Offer to help him clean his carbs.

[b] Ask how much the shop is going to charge him to clean his carbs.

[c] Give him the name of your physician.

When you're following a faster driver on a faster Vette than you, do you

[a] Continue to drive safely at your most comfortable speed.

[b] drive faster to keep up.

[c] Ignore your passenger's screams of terror and drive faster to keep up. /p>

What's the best way to make yourself a better driver?

[a] Practice, practice, practice.

[b] Sign up for track time.

[c] Bolt on Supertrapps and a new Stage III Callaway Kit.

[d] Drive down to the Vette shop, pick up Vettes 'n' Babes Calendar '97, then ... visualize.

Where was the last place you or a member of your driving group was stopped by police for speeding?

[a] the interstate.

[b] the state park.

[c] the supermarket parking lot.

How soon after you bought your Vette did you find its rev limit?

[a] 3000 miles.

[b] 1500 miles.

[c] Down the street from the dealer, as he waved goodbye to you.

[d] On the test drive.

How soon after you bought your Vette did you find out which parts scraped first in a bumpy turn?

[a] 3000 miles.

[b] 1500 miles.

[c] Down the street from the dealer, as he yelled at you for tagging.

the rev limiter and careening off a parked minivan across the street.

When hanging an impromptu wheelie after turning down a side street and noticing a police officer watching you from 100 yards away, do you

[a] Pull over immediately and wait for the officer to administer the ticket.

[b] Stop the wheelie, keep going like nothing happened, and hope the officer is in a good mood when he catches you.

[c] Wave with the front wheel still dangling in the air, take off down the street and hide in your ex-girlfriends house while the officer flies by looking for you.

Your friend has just finished wiping down his Vette with ArmorAll - including the seat. Do you

[a] Warn him that nothing short of Velcro will keep him on that seat, and suggest he clean off the stuff with ArmorAll Cleaner.

[b] Keep you mouth shut and wait to see what happens.

[c] [b], and then [a].

After their first drive in a Corvette with you, your friend

[a] thanks you and compliments your skills.

[b] looks like a stunned rabbit.

[c] files a civil complaint.

[d] eats your cat.

On a drive, you go out of your way to find

[a] scenic vistas.

[b] twisty roads.

[c] somebody to race at a stop light.

You've just arrived at a campsite for the night. The first thing you do is

[a] set up your tent.

[b] pull out a beer.

[c] cover up your Vette.

Rule #1 is "Never sell a Straight Axle". Rule #2 is

[a] "see rule #1"

[b] ... never sell a _what_?

[c] ... why not?

When confronted with a barrier across a small bridge do you

[a] turn around.

[b] blow past the barriers and cuss at the idiots who put the signs up.

[c] wait until they take the barriers down (days/months pass....).

Have you ever lead the local police on a chase past the local Vetter hangout

[a] by mistake?

[b] just because you forgot to get your license?

[c] just to show off to your buddies?

You wouldn't consider of starting a drive without your

[a] helmet.

[b] sunglasses.

[c] roll of duct tape.

Safety wiring is

[a] a big minus when looking over a used Corvette.

[b] a must.

[c] second only to duct tape.

When going along a bridge, and you suddenly come across a slippery metal grated section, do you

[a] start praying the rosary.

[b] yell "OH HOLY LLAMAS!" and hope that you don't crash.

[c] seize the opportunity to test your "wet driving" skills, and open it up!

How would you show up at a NCCC drive event?

[a] In a concours Vette.

[b] Broadsliding to a stop in a cloud of dust, in your Guildstrand GS.

[c] In a neon painted ZR1 with a CB antenna.

When you subscribe to a Corvette mailing list, is your userid

[a] david.

[b] Dave.Chevrolet.

[c] DiscoDave.

The _first_ thing you do after a drive is

[a] wash your Vette.

[b] grab a beer from the fridge.

[c] to use your one allowed phone call to call Mom.

What do you think about duct tape?

[a] I don't think about it any more than I have to.

[b] My Vette would fall apart without it!

[c] I couldn't be without the quacking sounds coming from my Vette's stereo!

Do you think of curbs as

[a] A nice place to brace your rear tire when street parking.

[b] A nice little jump to the street while running sidewalks.

[c] A berm for street racing.

Packing for a long drive means

[a] carefully distributing the heavy items to the lower parts of your color-matched Fischer-Price hard luggage.

[b] Tossing a few things in a soft bag or fanny pack.

[c] Checking to make sure the comb doesn't fall out of your back pocket.

The _first_ piece of driving gear you purchased was

[a] a helmet.

[b] a two (or more) color driving suit.

[c] sun glasses.

Your average group drive finishes up at

[a] someone's house for a BBQ.

[b] a pub.

[c] an emergency room.

[d] the precinct station.

Your winter storage regimen consists of

[a] removing the battery, placing a small amount of oil in the cylinders, topping up the gas, and blocking up the wheels.

[b] covering it with a tarp.

[c] convincing your roommate that it'd look _great_ in the living room.

Before starting to drive do you

[a] check to make sure all lights, cables and hydraulics are in good working order.

[b] make sure your radar detector is turned on.

[c] rev the engine up to 6k from a cold start to shorten warm-up time.

Tire warm-up involves

[a] 15 miles or 20 minutes of gentle driving.

[b] a series of swervies from the driveway.

[c] strictly a function of angle of entry to clip the apex.

When starting off on a drive, your first actions when getting onto a street are:

[a] carefully look both ways, monitoring the degree of engine warm-up and road surface conditions.

[b] immediately pull a series of tight swervies to warm up your tires more quickly.

[c] pop a wheelie to the first intersection.

When installing a new muffler did you

[a] stick with manufacturers original equipment.

[b] install a SuperTrapp so you can tune it.

[c] install a "track only" model and then tell police you just blew a baffle and mean to replace it as soon as you get home.

A carb screw falls out 50 miles from the nearest town. You

[a] pull a spare out of your storage bin.

[b] find some baling wire just off the shoulder and tie the piece back on.

[c] whip out your ever present roll of duct tape.

You are sitting in a hottub, draining the life out of a beer, your friends decide to go for a quick drive, you

[a] stay where you are. hell, you have had half a beer!

[b] dump the remaining beer and throw on your driving suit.

[c] don your flip-flops, shorts, tanktop and sunglasses, crush the can against your forehead, and go.

[d] say "Wait for me!", and go driving in the nude.

When on a long Corvette trip, you take pictures of

[a] the scenery.

[b] the road signs.

[c] your Corvette.

[d] the sky, as you back up a little too far while trying to get the whole group in the picture, and fall off a cliff.

Your helmet falls off your Vette while you are pumping gas. You

[a] drive home carefully and send the helmet to the manufacturer for inspection.

[b] inspect the helmet yourself and decide that it's ok.

[c] hope that the new chip matches the one on the other side.

You stop at a convenience store in the middle of a long drive. You buy

[a] a high energy bar and a banana.

[b] a 60 oz. soft drink.

[c] a case of beer and a roll of duct tape.

Someone suggests that a 1000 question purity test be compiled. You

[a] run and hide.

[b] volunteer a "friend".

[c] shout to the net, "I'll do it!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Contibutors: In no particlar order.

Joel Garry

Appropriated and modified from the squid purity test seen on ba.motorcycles.

Back to Joel Garry home page